With Or Without You
by iamkellylouise
Summary: When they lose the person closest to them they turn to each other for friendship. AU S7.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I've been working on this for months, since before May 2011 to be a little more precise! It's been a slow burner for me but I do really enjoy this fic and I hope you will too :)**

**As I'm sure you will figure out it's set in the final episode of Season 6 with a big change! Read and review please :)**

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><p><em>With Or Without You<br>_

_Chapter 1  
><em>_~x~_

"Meredith" Mark said as he ran to her in the hallways of an almost silent Seattle Grace "Meredith what happened? Meredith?" he said holding her shoulders a little.

"He shot him" Meredith whimpered.

"Well is he, is he ok? Meredith, is he ok?"

"They tried" she choked out "Cristina and Jackson, they really tried, and they were almost done but, he came into the OR, Mr Clark, he came into the OR and when they wouldn't stop trying, when they wouldn't stop, he shot him again, right, right in the heart" she sobbed "He's gone" she said collapsing against Mark's body "He's, he's gone"

"Oh my god" Mark whispered "No, no no he can't be, he can't be" he repeated "He can't be gone"

"Mark he's gone" Meredith sobbed "He's gone and, he doesn't know, I was supposed to tell him tonight and, he doesn't know"

"Doesn't know what?" Mark managed to ask.

"I'm pregnant" she whispered "5 weeks, I, I think I'm 5 weeks but, I only found out this morning and, I was going to tell him and now, and now he's gone" she sobbed.

"Sshh" Mark whispered, holding her tight against him, letting his own tears fall "It's okay" he croaked "It's okay, it's okay" he let out a light sob, his face buried in her hair.

"Mark?" Callie said tentatively as she approached them "Oh god" she said, with one look from him she knew.

"I need to call his Mom" he said quietly "Meredith you, you stay here with Callie ok? I'll go and call his Mom"

"No" Meredith said grasping onto his arm "Don't go" she whimpered.

"Come with me" Mark said softly "We'll do it together"

"Ok" Meredith sniffled.

"Cal can you, can you tell everyone?" Mark said quietly "We'll do his family, and, Addison, can you tell everyone else?"

"Of course" Callie said with a slight whisper, she stepped forward and hugged them both, not knowing what to say "Meredith I, I'm so sorry" she said quietly "Is there anything else you need me to do?"

"No no it's, it's ok" Meredith said wiping her tears away "Thank you"

"Ok" Callie said softly "Just come and find me if you need me" she said kissing Mark's cheek softly.

"Thanks Cal" Mark said quietly, he took Meredith's hand and led her to an on-call room, they sat on the bed, Meredith's face resting against Mark's arm.

"I can't believe he's gone" he whispered.

"I feel, empty" Meredith said tearfully "I didn't even get to tell him and, our baby they're, they're never going to get to meet him, and I, I had it all planned out, how I'd tell him, we'd lie in bed and, I'd just say it, and he'd smile and kiss me and, he'd be so happy Mark, he would be so so happy and I never even got to tell him"

"He'll know" Mark said kissing her temple "He'll know, he'll, he'll look down on you and, he'll see his kid, he'll see it all, and he will be so proud of both of you, and he'll love both of you, he'll know"

"Let's call his Mom" she said quietly "Don't, don't tell them about the baby, not yet, don't tell anyone, please"

"Ok" Mark said softly "D'you want me to do it?"

"No" Meredith said taking his phone from him "I'll do it, it has to be me"

"Ok" he nodded "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, if it gets too much just, let me know ok?"

"Ok" Meredith sniffled, she took a breath before dialling the first number, and then the world started to crash down on everyone they knew and loved.

~x~

"Meredith?" Cristina said tentatively as she slowly opened the door to the on-call room where Meredith sat with Mark, both of them silently.

"Hi" Meredith said quietly "Is, is Owen ok? His arm…."

"He's fine, he'll be fine" Cristina nodded "Have, have you heard about, Alex?"

"What about Alex?" Meredith asked worriedly.

"I was going to tell you" Mark said quietly "He's fine, he's at Seattle Pres with Lexie, we, we found him in an elevator, he was hit in the chest, we took him to the conference room and, it was tough but we stabilized him in the end, and then the SWAT team came in and helped us get him to the ambulance, I came back here to, find out what was going on"

"Ok" Meredith sniffled "But he's, he's ok?"

"He'll be ok" Mark said squeezing her hand.

"Mer I'm, I'm so sorry" Cristina whispered "I really tried"

Meredith stood up and wrapped her arms tightly around Cristina "Thank you for trying" she whispered "This wasn't your fault Cris, ok? It wasn't, anybody's fault, just, just that man, just him"

"I know" Cristina said quietly "If, if you want to see him Mer Jackson he's, he's taken him to…."

"Not yet" Meredith sniffled "I want to see Alex now, we should all go and be with Alex"

"Ok" she nodded, Mark stood and they walked out of the room together, Cristina held Meredith's hand as they walked through the quiet hallways, as they reached the lobby Meredith took a breath as she saw the crowds of people outside, as they stepped out into the air she stopped when she saw Richard stood talking to a police officer, he turned his head and as he saw her he instantly started walking closer, she pulled away from Cristina and let him pull her into his arms, hugging her tightly.

"I am so sorry" he whispered against the top of her head "I'm so sorry"

"I can't believe he's gone" she sobbed.

"I know" he mumbled "I don't think anybody can"

"Was, was anybody else….? I want to know" she sniffled.

"Reed Adamson and Charles Percy, among others" he said quietly "Where are you going now?"

"To see Alex" she sniffled "I need to see him"

"If you need anything Meredith, anything at all just call me" he said stroking her hair "I can't imagine what's going through your head, all I know is, Derek loved you, so much, and even though me and him had some differences, he was like a son to me, and I was so proud of him, just like I'm proud of you"

"Thank you" she whispered tearfully, hugging him tightly again.

"Do you need anyone to take you over to Seattle Pres?" Richard asked.

"I'll drive" Mark said as himself and Cristina took the moment to move closer to them "It's fine, I can drive"

"Are you sure?" Richard asked "I can get someone to take you all…."

"I'm ok" Mark nodded "I can drive"

"Well alright then" Richard nodded "Take care of each other ok?" they all simply nodded and headed to Mark's car.

_Chapter 2 to follow…._


	2. Chapter 2

_With Or Without You  
><em>

_Chapter 2  
><em>_~x~_

A week later, Meredith stood at the front of a crowded church, almost every person in the room was crying, she glanced down to the coffin where the man she loved rested and closed her eyes a little, she took in a breath before opening them and speaking.

"I met Derek in a bar" she started "The night before I started my internship I went to the bar across the street from the hospital, ordered a drink, and this guy sat next to me, he tried to talk to me but I ignored him, he was a little, cocky" she said with a slight laugh "And he said, you shouldn't ignore me, I asked him why and he said, because I'm someone you need to know to get to love" a few of his friends and his sisters all let out faint laughs at this.

"He asked me what my story was, I said I didn't have one, I was just a girl in a bar, he said, I'm just a guy in a bar, we carried on drinking, too much, we drank way too much, and then the next thing I know I'm pretty much throwing him out of my house because I'm late for my first day, and when I get there, I'm told to go and see a Doctor Shepherd, I looked up and he was there, so I ran" she laughed, tears falling freely from her eyes "He came after me, flirted, he told me he had his red shirt on, his good looking shirt, and that I took advantage, I wanted to hit him" she chuckled "That's how I met Derek, I was just a girl in a bar, and he was just a guy, you all know what happened after that, I mean it wasn't a secret, one person gets hold of information in that hospital and then everyone knows, I think we've all come to accept that, I tried to forget him, I really tried, but I couldn't, he had a hold on me I didn't think was possible" she breathed moving her eyes to meet Addison's briefly, Addison nodded reassuringly at her "And it took me a long time to know what I really wanted, to know I wanted to be his wife and have his kids, he knew, he knew he wanted to build us our house, grow old with me, die when he was 110 years old in my arms, he knew he wanted all of that, and it took me so long to finally realize I wanted it too, and now, now he's gone" she said with a slight whisper "He's gone and, I never even got to tell him that, I'm pregnant" she choked out, several gasps were heard "I found out that morning, I took the test, and I went to him and told him that that night, I needed to tell him something, and I didn't get the chance, that moment was, taken away from me, from us, and I really hope, I hope he'll be able to look down on us, and be proud, because I was proud of him" she sobbed "I am proud of him, for everything he's achieved, for putting up with me and all of my, craziness, for finally following his dream of being Chief and starting to build his house, I'm proud that he got to do all of those things, and I'll tell our baby all about him, I'll tell them everything, Derek Shepherd was a great man, he was, the love of my life, and I don't know how, how I'll be able to, to…." she started to choke back her tears, gripping onto the stand in front of her, her legs weakening a little, Mark and Cristina shared a worried glance, Mark stood up and walked to her, he wrapped her arms around his neck and scooped her up in his arms, Meredith sobbed into his shoulder, he sat back down next to Cristina who rubbed Meredith's back soothingly.

"Would anyone else like to say a few words?" the priest said quietly after a silent minute.

"Mark" Meredith whispered as she felt him shift a little "Go on"

"Are you sure?" he whispered back.

"Go" she sniffled, she slipped off his lap and let him stand, Cristina wrapped her arms around her, Alex leant forward from his place behind her and squeezed her shoulder, Meredith turned her head and smiled a little at him, she turned back, bringing her hand up to meet Alex's.

"Derek was my brother" Mark said simply "Not by blood, but as good as. I almost lost him once before. I made a mistake and I hurt him, and I didn't think I'd ever get the chance to call him my brother again but, he forgave me, he forgave me and I never even thanked him for it, not really. I've made a lot of promises to him that I haven't kept, I promised I wouldn't tell Susie Johnson he had a crush on her when we were 9, but I did, I promised I wouldn't tell anyone about the time he peed his pants from laughing when we were 13, but I did, and uh, sorry for telling everyone here man" he said with a slight wince, Carolyn and the four sisters all laughed a little "What I'm saying is, I promised Derek a lot of things, and pretty much every promise I made I broke, but this promise, the promise I'm about to make, I will never _ever_ break this promise" he said firmly "I promise, that I'll tell his son or daughter all the stories he would've wanted them to know, and probably some of the ones he didn't, I promise I'll be there to help Meredith whenever she needs it, and I'll protect them both, with everything I have, I'll protect them, just like, just like he protected me when I was 7 years old, when he asked his Mom if I could come for dinner because I didn't have a Mom to make it for me anymore, Derek Shepherd was my protector, and I really hope I'll be able to repay him for that" he stepped to the coffin and rested his palm against the wood "I'll make you proud man, I promise" he whispered softly before sitting back down next to Meredith, she squeezed his arm a little and they sat together, watching as more and more people stood to speak.

~x~

"Hey" Addison said quietly as she approached Meredith in her living room at the wake.

"Hi" Meredith said softly.

"You did really well up there" Addison said with a small smile.

"I had to be carried away Addison" Meredith said with a slight laugh.

"But still, you did really well, Derek he, he'd be proud, I know he would"

"I hope so" Meredith said quietly "You could've said something too y'know, if, if you wanted too"

"It wasn't my place, not really" Addison said softly "I said everything I needed to say after he saved Archer"

"Right" Meredith breathed.

"If you need anything Meredith, you, or the baby, just call me, I'll be on the first flight here ok" she said squeezing her arm a little "Call me anytime"

"Thank you Addison" Meredith said with a small smile "Addison he, he did love you y'know, I know you've doubted it, because if I've doubted what he felt for me then you must have doubted it too but, he did love you, it wasn't out of obligation when you tried again, he loved you, don't ever forget that ok?"

"Ok" Addison said with a slight whisper, both of them tearing up, she pulled Meredith into a hug and let out a shaky sigh.

"We're, we're talking about, what we want to do with his ashes" Meredith said as they pulled away a little "Once everyone's gone, his Mom and sisters are staying for a little while, and Mark, and I want you there too, it might be a little awkward but, I want you to be there, I want your input ok?"

"Ok" Addison said softly "I'll just go and, tell Sam to go back to the hotel without me, and Meredith, if you ever forget that he loved you, I promise I'll kick your ass" she said with a slight laugh.

"Same to you" Meredith laughed.

~x~

"We could scatter them on Dad's grave" Nancy suggested.

"Or, off one of the ferryboats in New York, he loved ferryboats" said Kathleen.

"Well if we're scattering him off a ferryboat shouldn't it be one in Seattle" said Mark "He preferred the ferryboats here"

"Not here" Addison protested quickly "Not the ferryboats here"

"Why?" Amelia asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I uh, after we um, got divorced, I didn't know what to do with my rings because, I didn't want to just throw them away so I uh, I threw them into the water, off a ferryboat" she said quietly.

"And ferryboats are out" said Elizabeth, another one of his sisters "Could we split them? The ashes? Put some in New York and some in Seattle"

"No" said Carolyn "I don't want my son to be split in two, we need to pick one place, one place he loved, Meredith dear what, what do you think?"

Meredith sat quietly for a minute, biting on her bottom lip a little "The clearing, by the trailer"

"Over the water" said Addison "Where we buried Doc"

"Yeah" Meredith said with a soft smile "Exactly what I was thinking"

"Who's Doc?" Amelia asked.

"He was our dog" Meredith said with a small smile "Well, he was my dog at first, me and my old roommate Izzie got him from the pound because well, we wanted a dog, but he started to chew everything in the house and he was so hyperactive, so I asked Derek and Addison if they'd let him stay with them at the trailer, they had all the land so, it was perfect"

"So he went from chewing up your house to chewing up my $400 dollar a pair shoes" Addison said nudging her a little.

"Yeah" Meredith said with a slight laugh "He was, a pain in the ass, but he was cute"

"Like Derek" Addison smirked.

"Exactly like Derek" Meredith chuckled "Anyway he, he got bone cancer and there was nothing anyone could do so, we had to get him put down, we buried him at the clearing by the trailer, overlooking the water, Derek used to take him there whenever it was his turn to walk him"

"I think it's perfect" said Mark "The land was where he loved to be the most, I remember when he first had the house plans drawn up and he took me out there, he was like a little kid at christmas"

"So we're agreed" said Carolyn "The land, Derek's land, that's where we're scattering him"

"I think…." Nancy started "It's perfect" she said with a small smile "For some crazy reason Derek liked it in the wilderness so, lets let him stay there"

"Ok" Carolyn smiled softly.

"I, I know you probably don't know what's happening yet but, what's happening, with the land?" Elizabeth asked Meredith.

"Well, technically it's, my land too now, he had me put on the lease when they started to lay the foundations of the house, as far as I know they've put the framing of the first floor up but, I, I want the baby to grow up in that house but I have no idea what I'm doing, Derek was the one who controlled everything, I can pay for it myself but…."

"We'll get it finished" said Carolyn "No matter what happens, we'll get that house finished"

"You don't have to do that" Meredith said quietly.

"My son didn't shut up about you or that house every time he called, we're getting the house finished" she said squeezing Meredith's hand a little.

"Thank you" Meredith said softly "I'm, I'm sorry for just, springing the baby on you all like that, I didn't really, I didn't even plan to say it…."

"Don't worry dear" Carolyn said softly "Now we know we can be here, for both of you, that little one in there is part of our family, and a blessing"

"Yeah" Meredith whispered, brushing her hand across her stomach.

"To Derek, and baby Shepherd" Mark said raising his glass, everyone smiled and repeated the toast, tapping their glasses together.

_Chapter 3 to follow…._

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><p><strong>AN: Hoping to get the next chapter up this time next week, there's a bit of a time jump but I don't think you'll mind :P**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Pretty short one! More next week :) Please review!**

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><p><em>With Or Without You<em>

_Chapter 3  
><em>_~x~_

**6 months pregnant.**

"Mer? You home?" Mark called out as he entered her house.

"In the kitchen" she called back, he put his jacket on one of the hooks and walked through to the kitchen, laughing softly at Meredith as she sat slouched on a chair, a tub of ice cream resting on her bump.

"What?" she mumbled through a mouthful.

"Nothing" he said with a soft smile "How are you feeling?"

"Good" Meredith smiled "He's been kicking a lot today"

"Now?"

"Yeah, come feel" she said holding her hand out, Mark sat down on the chair next to her and moved in close, Meredith took his hand and placed it where the baby was kicking.

"That's amazing Mer" he smiled "He's got some strong legs"

"Yeah" Meredith breathed "Mark you, you don't have to check on me all the time y'know, I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself"

"I know" Mark nodded "But I've got 5 Shepherd women, Addison, and everyone at the hospital all bugging me to check on you, you're pregnant, expect people to hover, plus, that's my nephew in there, and I made a promise" he said softly.

"I know" Meredith said squeezing his hand a little "Your godson too"

"Hmm?" Mark said looking up to her "What?"

"You and Cristina, you're the godparents so, if anything happens to me, he'll go to you" she said with a small smile "I know Cristina can be a lot to handle, but she's my person and, you were Derek's, so if anything happens to me, you're the ones I want to take care of him"

"Nothing will happen to you" Mark said stroking her cheek softly "But I'm honoured, truly honoured"

"Shut up, you're going to make me cry with these stupid hormones" Meredith said tearfully.

"Sorry" he said with a slight laugh "Is there anything you need doing? Before the move next week?"

"We're all done" Meredith smiled "The decorators called me and said they're on track, they're just putting the finishing touches on some of the rooms, they've been great Mark, they said they want to hang around and help me move all of my stuff in, not that there's much, I'm leaving a lot of it here for Alex and Lexie, although, I don't know if they're going to be able to live with each other so, it could be either Alex or Lexie, they really need to get a grip, you're over it right? Because they should be, it's stupid, they're my brother and sister and they can hardly look at each other and I want them to be able to be in a room together and play with the baby and…."

"And you need to breathe" Mark said clamping a hand over her mouth.

"Sorry" she mumbled through his skin.

"They'll get over it" he smirked "They're just being stubborn, and you know they will always be there for you and the baby"

"I know" Meredith sighed.

"Do you want me to kick their ass's?"

"Don't be stupid" she laughed "Just promise you'll still come and see me when I'm alone in the woods"

"Promise" he smirked.

~x~

"Hey, you paged me?" Lexie said as she walked into the doctors lounge where Mark was waiting.

"Yeah I…"

"You wanted to see me" Alex said as he walked inside.

"What's going on Mark?" Lexie asked.

"I'm just getting numbers together for Meredith's big move next week"

"We agreed to help weeks ago Sloan" Alex frowned.

"Yeah, but Meredith is freaking out about leaving you two alone, since for the past 6 months you've been acting like a couple of teenagers fighting over every tiny little thing"

"Wha…." Lexie started "That's not, we don't hate each other" she laughed.

"Yeah we don't mean half the stuff we say when we fight" Alex shrugged "We're just, we're fine"

"Well then can you at least play nice around Meredith so she stops being all, Meredith about it"

"We could order pizza tonight" Lexie suggested "And watch some of her favourite surgery tapes"

"Sure" Alex nodded "Sounds good to me"

"Well that was easier than I thought it'd be" Mark mumbled.

"You need to relax dude" Alex smirked "We're all on the same team here, Team Baby Shepherd"

"Yeah Mark, relax" Lexie laughed softly, she kissed his cheek gently before herself and Alex left the room, Mark shook his head disbelievingly and ran a hand over his face.

~x~

"This is nice" Meredith smiled as she sat in the middle of Lexie and Alex eating a huge slice of pizza "We should do this more"

"Yeah, we should" Lexie smiled "I can never get enough of Ellis surgeries, they're too cool"

"She was bad ass" Alex agreed, taking a sloppy bite of his pizza.

"I'm not gonna be like her though right? As a Mom…"

"We've told you before, you're going to be amazing" Lexie smiled softly "You have nothing to worry about, we're all right here with you"

"Yeah and Sloan is not gonna let you get stressed out, he pretty much yelled at us today" Alex smirked "We're sorry about all the fighting Mer, we're not being serious, it's just like me and you used to be when I first moved in and I'd make a mess everywhere"

"You still make a mess everywhere" Meredith laughed "But I'm gonna kinda miss the mess, I'll miss you both"

"We're gonna visit like, all the time" Lexie laughed "I'm pretty sure Cristina will attempt to move in"

"That is true" Meredith smirked "Little man is gonna need people to play with"

"You have a great Mom champ" Alex smiled, patting her bump gently "She knows all the best bars and how to mix the best drinks…."

"Oh shut up" Meredith laughed, nudging him with her elbow "Give me more pizza"

"All yours" Alex smirked, passing the box over to her, Meredith lay her head on his shoulder as they all winced as a particularly gross looking surgery took place on the screen before them.

_Chapter 4 to follow…._


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks to anyone who has reviewed/added to favourites/added to story alerts etc. Would love a few more reviews though, tell me what you're thinking! :D**

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><p><em>With Or Without You<em>

_Chapter 4  
><em>_~x~_

**7 months pregnant.**

"Addison Montgomery" Addison said through her phone as she lay on her sofa after a long day.

"Hey, hey it's uh, Meredith" Meredith stuttered.

"Meredith, hi" Addison smiled.

"Sorry it's late um, I hope I'm not interrupting anything"

"No no, I'm just being lazy on my sofa, Sam's stuck in surgery, is everything ok?"

"Look uh, I was just wondering, I mean, you totally don't have to if it's weird but, I think, I think maybe Derek would've liked it because, you're the best and, well my OB-GYN creeps me out and, you don't so uh, would, would you come to Seattle and, deliver my baby?" Meredith asked warily.

"Of course I will" Addison beamed "Meredith I'd be honoured"

"You, you would?"

"Of course I would" Addison said softly "Who's your OB?"

"Dr Williams, he's, he's…."

"No need to explain" Addison laughed "I wouldn't want him delivery my baby either, would you be able to get hold of your records, have them sent over to me?"

"Yeah, I'll call the hospital and get someone to send them" Meredith smiled.

"And how has it all been going? Any problems?"

"Everything's been pretty normal I think" Meredith said as she rubbed her hand across her stomach "He's the right size, got a strong heart beat, kicks up a storm, usually when I'm trying to sleep, or when Mark talks to him, I think he likes his voice"

"Mark talks to him?" Addison said with a slight laugh.

"Yeah" Meredith laughed back "He said that talking to the baby is a good thing, which I know, and that he needs to start learning about Derek now, and the Yankees, which I'm not so keen on, but it's cute, he's so excited to be an Uncle"

"I'm sure he is" Addison smiled "And how are you feeling?"

"Good" Meredith said honestly "I've been in the house for a couple of weeks now, it's beautiful, we went on the original plans Derek made, but it's just, I keep looking out the window and I can see the trailer and, I keep expecting him to walk out of there with all his fishing stuff and go and sit out by the lake but, it feels good here, I just, I miss him so much Addison"

"I know" Addison said softly "We all do"

"Are you sure you're ok with coming out here?" Meredith asked.

"Meredith, I'm sure" Addison smiled "I told you before, anything you or the baby need, I'm here, I promise"

"Thank you" Meredith said tearfully "Oh god sorry it's these stupid hormones again" she sniffled "I had to have Mark help me put my shoes on last week and I cried for half an hour"

"Don't worry about it" Addison said with a slight laugh.

"Ok well, I should go, I'll get someone to send my files over for you"

"Ok" Addison smiled "Send everyone my love"

"I will" Meredith smiled "Speak to you soon Addison"

"Speak to you soon, bye Meredith"

"Bye" Meredith said before hanging up.

"Hey, who was that?" Mark asked as he walked into the living room.

"Jesus Mark" Meredith said jumping a little "When the hell did you get here?"

"Just now" Mark said with a slight laugh as he sat down "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you"

"It's ok" Meredith sighed "That was Addison, she's agreed to come out here to deliver the baby, she sends her love"

"Oh, cool" Mark said with a small smile "Told you she'd do it"

"I know" Meredith said dropping her head against his shoulder "D'you think, the baby he, d'you think he'll be like Derek?"

"Probably" Mark said softly "In some ways, I'm sure he'll look just like him, Shepherd genes are strong, all the kids look so much more like their Moms than their Dads and Derek looked just like his"

"What was his Dad like? I, I never really asked"

"He was great" Mark smiled "A lot like Derek, maybe a little less, aware of his looks" he smirked, Meredith let out a slight laugh "He was kind, he was a family man, and I mean, that was always weird for me because my Dad was anything but that, but he loved his family, he would've done anything for his kids, hell he, he died because he wouldn't give up the watch Carolyn gave him, I don't know if I would've done that, he was an amazing man, Derek missed him a lot, I, it's stupid but, I like to think that, maybe they're together now y'know?"

"That's not stupid" Meredith said quietly "I think, I think I might name the baby after him, after his Dad, d'you think, d'you think that's ok?"

"I think that's a great idea" Mark smiled "Christopher Grey-Shepherd"

"Christopher Grey-Shepherd" Meredith repeated "I love it, I should call Carolyn right?"

"I think she'd like that" Mark said softly "D'you want some food or anything?"

"No but some coffee would be great" Meredith said hopefully.

"Nice try" Mark laughed "How about some juice?"

"Fine" Meredith grumbled, Mark kissed the top of her head before heading into the kitchen.

~x~

**2 weeks later.**

"You look fat today" Cristina said bluntly as she walked into Meredith's house and dropped herself down onto the sofa, putting a shopping bag in between them.

"Thanks" Meredith said dryly "Really, thank you for that"

"Hey, I brought a present too" she said nudging the bag towards Meredith, Meredith peered into the bag curiously and pulled out a small blue and white striped onesie with the words 'Here Comes Trouble' printed in red on the front.

"Let's face it, any kid of yours is gonna be a handful" Cristina smirked.

"You actually went out and bought this?" Meredith said with a small smile.

"I figured I should buy the kid something" she shrugged.

"Oh Cristina" Meredith whispered tearfully.

"God don't start crying" Cristina groaned.

"I don't care" Meredith sniffled "Thank you, I know I haven't been all that fun lately"

"Yeah well, it's ok, I get that you're too fat to move now"

"Cristina" Meredith whined "Stop calling me fat"

"I'm kidding" Cristina said with a slight laugh "So, I thought I could stay over tonight and we could watch your Mom's surgery tapes, like old times, and eat crappy food"

"I'd like that" Meredith smiled "Mark's going to the store for me later so I could give him a list"

"He's here a lot lately"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing Mer, nothing" Cristina sighed "I'm just, pointing it out, he's never really been the, caring type, not like this anyway"

"He's doing it for Derek" Meredith said softly "He knows Derek wouldn't want me to be alone out here"

"You could've had roommates Mer, Lexie and Alex would've moved with you"

"I know they would have but I didn't want them to move here, this isn't a frat house, this is a home, my home, with room for guests to stay"

"I guess" Cristina sighed "Now come on, call Sloan, order food, I'll go and get the surgery tapes"

Meredith laughed a little and picked up her phone as Cristina headed off to find the tapes.

_Chapter 5 to follow…._


	5. Chapter 5

_With Or Without You_

_Chapter 5  
><em>_~x~_

**9 months pregnant.**

"Carolyn, hi" Meredith smiled as she opened her front door "Come on in"

"Hello dear, oh Meredith, look at you, you're glowing"

"I'm huge" Meredith said with a slight laugh "And praying this one isn't stubborn like me and decides to head on out on the due date"

"Derek was right on time so pray he's more like his father" Carolyn laughed "Wow Meredith, this house is, amazing, so much better than in the pictures"

"Yeah" Meredith smiled "I like it anyway"

"Derek would've loved it"

"It was all his plans" Meredith said with a sigh "Anyway, Addison and Amelia should be here in 2 hours, Mark is heading over after his shift so he'll be, an hour maybe, he's looking forward to seeing you"

"I can't wait to see him either, now come on dear, sit down and put your feet up, I'll make us something to drink, and I'm not taking no for an answer" she said as Meredith opened her mouth.

"Ok" Meredith said with a laugh "Erm, the kitchen's right through there" she said gesturing to the door ahead of them "Juice would be great"

"Ok, you sit down" Carolyn smiled "I'll be right in"

"Ok" Meredith nodded "Wait, feel this" she said bringing Carolyn's hand to her stomach "I think he's getting impatient" she laughed.

"He certainly is" Carolyn chuckled lightly.

~x~

"Amy" Carolyn smiled as she let Addison and Amelia into the house.

"Hi Mom" Amelia said with a small smile "And it's…"

"Amelia, I know, sorry" Carolyn said with a roll of her eyes, giving her daughter a hug "And Addison, hello"

"Hi Carolyn, you look well" Addison smiled.

"Thank you, you too, now come on, come in, Meredith and Mark are in the living room" she said leading them through the house "Look who's here" she smiled.

"Hey" Meredith beamed from her place on the floor, Mark sat on the chair behind her massaging her shoulders "I'd get up and hug you but, well it took me like 5 minutes to get down here so, sorry" she smirked.

"No problem" Addison laughed "This house is, incredible Meredith"

"It's like a mansion or something" Amelia smirked.

"Well, I take no credit" Meredith said with a quiet laugh "Mark can you get lower?"

"Sure" Mark smirked, he nudged Meredith a little so she shuffled forward and he sat behind her, his legs coming to rest on either side of her, moving his hands to massage her lower back "This is the only reason I'm allowed to come here, to give free massages"

"Well, you have other uses too, you can cook me food" Meredith grinned "Speaking of food, is anyone hungry? Baby wants pizza, is pizza ok? I mean we don't have to have pizza we could have…"

"And you're rambling" Addison chuckled as she sat down "Nothing changes Meredith"

"Rambling is a Grey trait, Lexie does it, my father does it, and Chris will probably do it too" Meredith smirked "So seriously, pizza?"

"Menu's are in the first drawer on the left, kitchen's just down the hall" Mark said to Amelia.

"I guess that's my job then" she mumbled as she headed to the kitchen.

"So, how are you feeling Meredith?" Addison asked as she sat on the sofa nearest to her "Any signs?"

"Pretty much everything but the real thing" Meredith said with a soft laugh "I've been having more Braxton Hicks than usual, but nothing that's enough for actual labour"

"Well you've got another day until you're due date, and unless it's getting to a dangerous point, we'll just have to feed you a ton of spicy food and make you take long walks in the woods until he decides to come out" Addison said with a laugh "It's going to be fine Meredith"

"It's going to hurt like hell isn't it" Meredith laughed.

"Without a doubt honey, without a doubt, but I promise it will be worth it" Carolyn smiled.

"I know it will" Meredith smiled, bringing her hands to her bump.

~x~

"Addison" Meredith whispered as she opened the door to the guest room where Addison slept "Addison" she said a little louder.

"Hey, what's up?" Addison mumbled tiredly.

"I think I'm….ow ow…in labour" Meredith panted.

"You're sure?" Addison smiled as she sat up "This is different from the Braxton Hicks?"

"Mmhmm" Meredith nodded, trying not to cry out in pain "They're pretty close together"

"Well then, let's go" Addison smiled as she climbed out of bed.

~x~

"Ok Meredith, it's time for you to start pushing now" Addison said softly, hours later "When you feel your next contraction I need you to push"

"I can't do it" Meredith whimpered "I can't do it, I need Derek, I need, I need Derek" she cried "I can't do it, I can't do this alone"

Addison stood up and moved to Meredith's side, she picked up a cloth and wiped Meredith's forehead "Meredith" she said softly "I know it hurts, and I know you want Derek, and I know you didn't want this to be the way it is, but you are not alone, you're not, we are all right here with you, you can do this, you can ok? Say it. You can do this"

"I can do this" Meredith sniffled "I, I can do this"

"You can do this" Addison smiled "Now, I know it's not the same but, why don't we get Mark in here, you need someone's hand to hold anyway, I have no idea why you didn't think about a birthing partner"

"I don't want any more people to see me like this" Meredith whined "But, well, yeah I, Mark, Mark would be, good"

"Ok, go and get Dr Sloan" Addison said turning to the nurse, she nodded and left the room quickly "You ready?" she asked.

"Ready" Meredith breathed "Oh god" she groaned as a contraction hit her.

"Hey, I'm here, what's wrong?" Mark said rushing into the room.

"Hold her hand" Addison said as she sat back down on the stool at the foot of the bed.

"Ok" Mark said moving to Meredith's side, he held out his hand and let Meredith grip onto it.

"Ok Meredith, one big push for me" Addison started, Meredith cried out loudly and squeezed Mark's hand as she pushed "Good, good girl Meredith, you're doing great, another big push for me" Meredith took in a breath before pushing hard again "Meredith I need you to push a little harder to get past the head"

"I can't" Meredith whimpered.

"Yes you can" Mark said stroking her cheek and looking her in the eye "You can Mer, the quicker you get him out of there the sooner you meet him, ok? So squeeze my hand really tight and push"

Meredith squeezed his hand and pushed as hard as she could.

"Good" Addison called out over Meredith's scream "That's great Meredith, we've got the head, one big push for the shoulders" Meredith instantly started pushing again "There we go, good girl" Addison smiled as she supported the baby, Meredith pushed a little more before Chris slid out of her, Meredith collapsed against the bed with a heavy breath "Meredith he's beautiful" Addison smiled, she quickly cut and tied off the cord before placing him on Meredith's chest.

"Hi" Meredith choked out "Hi baby, I'm your Mommy, I am, you're so perfect" she whispered.

"He's amazing Mer" Mark said kissing her temple "You did great, he's got a good set of lungs on him" he laughed as Chris cried.

"Yeah" Meredith breathed out "Look at his hair" she sniffled, stroking the black tufts of hair.

"Exactly like his Daddy" Addison smiled "Let's get him checked over quickly, you can have him right back I promise"

"Ok" Meredith nodded, Addison slowly picked Chris up and walked him over to where the nurse stood.

"You did so well Mer" Mark said wiping the sweat from her brow "So well, Derek would be so proud"

"You think?"

"I know" Mark said softly, he helped Meredith sit up a little as Addison walked back over with Chris wrapped up in a blanket.

"7 pounds, 8 ounces, 21 inches long" Addison smiled "Seems to be perfectly healthy, and he's absolutely beautiful, congratulations Meredith" she said passing him over.

"Hi Chris" Meredith said quietly "You look so much like your Daddy baby, you would've loved him so much, and I know, I know he's looking at you now, and he's still going to protect you, I'll tell you all about him, and your Aunts and Uncles will too, and Grandma Carolyn can tell you all about your Grandpa Chris, that's where I got your name, not from your Aunt Cristina even though she'll swear it is" she said with a slight laugh "I don't know how great I'll be at this Mom thing but, I'm gonna really try baby I promise"

"She's gonna be a great Mom champ" Mark smiled.

"Why don't you take him to the waiting room while I clean Meredith up, if that's ok with you Meredith" Addison suggested.

"Sure" Meredith smiled "Take him Mark"

"Ok" Mark nodded, he slowly took Chris from her and stared down at him "He's so amazing Meredith" he said softly "I'm so proud of you" he murmured "And Derek would be too"

"I couldn't have done it without you" Meredith smiled up at him, wiping tears from her cheeks, Mark kissed the top of her head before heading out of the room and walking down to the waiting room, Carolyn, Amelia, Cristina, Alex and Lexie all stood.

"Hey" Mark said quietly "Meet Christopher Derek Grey-Shepherd, 7 pounds, 8 ounces, 21 inches long, and absolutely perfect"

"Oh look at him" Carolyn whispered, tears coming to her eyes "He's just like Derek, how's Meredith?"

"Tired, emotional, but happy" Mark said with a small smile "Addison's just cleaning her up, Yang you can go if you want" he smirked as he saw her bouncing on her feet nervously, she instantly rushed down the hallway and into Meredith's room.

"Can I, can I hold him?" Lexie asked "Is that ok?"

"Sure you can hold him" Mark said as he passed him over carefully.

"Hi Chris, I'm your Aunt Lexie, yeah, I am, you have the Grey nose" she chuckled lightly "Alex take a picture on my cell so I can send a picture to Dad…..Meredith already said it was ok" she said with a roll of her eyes when he looked at her sceptically, he took the cell from her pocket and took a picture of them together.

"I should take him back" Mark said quietly "I'll come and get you when she's ready for visitors"

"Ok" Lexie smiled as she passed him back, Mark smiled at them all before heading back to Meredith's room.

"Here you go" he smiled softly as he passed Chris to Meredith "Everyone loves him"

"How could they not" Meredith smiled, not taking her eyes away from Chris "We're going to be fine baby boy, just you and me, we'll be fine" she whispered.

_Chapter 6 to follow…_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hope you enjoyed this chapter, let me know in a review! More next week :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Reviews would be awesome, I know you readers are out there!**

* * *

><p><em>With Or Without You<em>

_Chapter 6  
><em>_~x~_

**8 months later.**

"Hey" Meredith smiled as Mark walked into her kitchen.

"Hey" Mark smiled, kissing her cheek softly "How are you?"

"Good" Meredith smiled "You?"

"Good, tired, the hospital was busy today" he sighed "Hey little man, you look like you're enjoying that" he laughed to Chris who had spread food across his face.

"I did help him eat most of it but then he got hold of the spoon and it went everywhere so I just left him to it" Meredith laughed.

"I think we should get you cleaned up huh champ?" Mark smiled, he picked up a pack of baby wipes and started to clean Chris's hands and face, Chris babbled happily to him, Mark took his bib off and put it into the laundry basket "There we go, all better" he smiled.

"You want coffee?" Meredith asked.

"Sure" Mark smiled, he lifted Chris from the highchair and sat down at the kitchen table "So, are you ready to come back to work next week?" he asked as he sat Chris on his lap.

"I have no idea how I'm going to leave Chris but, I do want to come back, even if I've got a lot of catching up to do, Cristina and Alex are going to be like, my bosses, how weird is that?" she laughed.

"They won't treat you like that though, and you'll catch up in no time" Mark smiled "Your Mommy is going to be an amazing surgeon baby" he said tickling Chris a little, Chris giggled and reached up to touch Mark's mouth, Mark kissed his hand over and over.

"Dada!" Chris laughed, Mark and Meredith both froze.

"Mark…" Meredith started.

"I…" Mark choked out "I have to go" he said standing and putting Chris in Meredith's arms.

"Mark!" she called out after him, Mark didn't look back, he quickly left leaving Meredith stood in her kitchen completely stunned.

~x~

"Meredith? Mer?" Cristina called out as she let herself into the house, she moved through to the kitchen and found Meredith pacing the kitchen as Chris sat in his highchair playing with one of his toys "What's wrong? What happened? Why are you freaking out?"

"Chris called Mark Dada" Meredith said quickly "He called him Dada and then Mark just put him in my arms and left, he just left and I know he has a right to freak out, I know that but, he can't just leave like that!" she exclaimed "And now he won't pick up his phone and I have no idea where the hell he is and I don't know what to do Cristina!"

"Ok first, you sit down, and take a breath" Cristina said grabbing Meredith's hand and pulling her to the nearest chair, Meredith sat down and took in a breath, letting it out with a sigh.

"Now what?" she asked.

"I don't know" Cristina shrugged "Meredith he'll come back"

"But what if he doesn't…"

"Then I'll find him and kick his ass"

"Cristina, say something comforting" Meredith groaned "What do I do about the Dada thing? Why did, why did Chris call him Dada?"

"My guess" Cristina said as she sat down "Is that the poor kid is a little confused, Sloan is here all the time, and you both talk to him about Derek, about his Dad, so he's hearing the word Dad, seeing Sloan, putting 2 and 2 together and getting 5 which, well he's 8 months old, he can't do math yet, no matter how hard I try to make him a super baby"

"I guess that makes sense" Meredith sighed, biting her bottom lip a little "But what do I do?"

"Well that's, something you'll have to talk to Sloan about, so why don't I call Callie, and the hospital, see if anyone's seen him, and if not, well then you'll have to call in reinforcements"

"Reinforcements?"

"Mrs Shepherd, Montgomery, if he's gone running he's probably gone running to them"

"Yeah I guess that's true" Meredith sighed "Oh god why can't I just catch a break" she mumbled.

"Because men are stupid" Cristina smirked "I'll go and call around"

"Thanks Cris" Meredith sighed, Cristina squeezed her shoulder lightly before she left to make some calls.

~x~

"I wish I knew what to do baby" Meredith said quietly as she stood looking into Chris's crib, watching him sleep a couple of days later "I wish I knew where he was, I know you miss him, but he'll come back, he will, he'll come back, cuz he loves you" she smiled "So you have sweet dreams, and I'm gonna find him, it's time to call Grandma" she sighed, she stroked his hair lightly before walking out of the room and into her bedroom, she picked up her cell and dialled Carolyn's number.

"Hello?"

"Carolyn it's, it's Meredith"

"Meredith dear" Carolyn smiled "How are you? How's that beautiful grandson of mine?"

"Chris is great he's, he's sleeping, um, look Carolyn uh, have you heard from Mark lately?"

"Um no, I haven't spoken to him in over a week sweetheart, what's going on? What happened?"

"Chris, Chris called him Dada" she said quietly "He called him Dada and Mark he, he left, he put Chris in my arms and he left and, I thought he'd go to the hospital or go home but, he wasn't there and I thought he'd, call me at least but, now it's been almost 3 days and, I'm worried Carolyn, I'm really worried, he has a right to be freaked out, he really does, because it freaked me out too I just, I think it's because he's always around y'know? He, he is the main male in Chris's life, there's Alex and there's other men but, Mark's around the most, he knows Mark, and he, he is like a Dad to him but, I didn't, Carolyn I don't know what to do" she said tearfully.

"Just breathe for me Meredith" Carolyn said soothingly "It's ok, everything will be ok, Mark will come home, I'll call him, I'll let the girls know, it's ok, you just need to sit down and talk with him, so when he comes home, because he will, you'll talk, like the civilized adults you are"

"But I don't even know what to say" Meredith said with a heavy sigh "This isn't what he wanted, he didn't want to take Derek's place, I mean he hasn't, in my eyes he hasn't but, I know that's what Mark's thinking, I just, I don't know what to say to make it all right, or do, I mean, do I stop him from coming over as much? Do I put a distance between them? Because I don't know if I can do that, to either of them, Chris loves him so much, yesterday I, I could tell he was waiting for him, Mark always tries to come over before bed, and I put Chris in bed and, he looked at me, and I knew he was waiting for Mark, I just knew, god I messed up" she said shakily "I really messed this up didn't I? Derek must think, he must being thinking awful things Carolyn, he must be"

"Don't say that" Carolyn said firmly "You know that's not true, you are a great mother and I know that he is so proud of you, I know that, he might not be here anymore but I know my son, I know both of them, Mark will come home, and he'll have relaxed, and you can have a discussion, because I really believe, I believe that, maybe, Chris calling Mark Daddy, it's not, it's not the end of the world, it's not, and I think, if you want to allow it, and if Mark will accept it, then maybe you should, keep it that way"

"You, you mean, let Chris call Mark Daddy?" Meredith asked tentatively.

"Meredith as long as he knows who Derek is, that's all that matters" Carolyn said softly "I know that if I'd found someone when my kids were young and they wanted to call him Dad, I would've let them, because they know who their father is, and that's all that matters"

"I guess so" Meredith sniffled "I just need to know he's safe Carolyn" she sighed.

"I know dear, and I'm sure he is"

"Can you just, call me, if you hear from him"

"Of course I will" Carolyn said with a small smile "You should get some rest, you sound tired"

"Yeah well, I haven't exactly been sleeping"

"Well then, get some, call me tomorrow if you want to talk some more"

"I will, thanks Carolyn" Meredith smiled "Night"

"Goodnight dear, give Chris a kiss from me"

"I will, bye" Meredith said before she hung up, she lay back on the bed and let out sigh.

~x~

"Mmm, what" Meredith mumbled as her phone ringing woke her, she rubbed her eyes a little and glanced at the clock, reading 6am she grumbled a little and answered the phone "Hello?" she yawned.

"Hey, Meredith it's Addison, sorry it's so early" Addison said with a slight yawn "But um, Mark just turned up"

"Oh thank god" Meredith breathed "Thank you, thank you for telling me, thank you"

"He doesn't know I'm calling, he, he doesn't want me to talk to you but, I know you're probably going crazy over there so…" she said with a soft laugh "He's ok, he's sleeping, he drove out here, he stopped at a motel on the way here but I don't think he really slept much, he looks like hell, but, he'll be ok, I'm letting him sleep before I talk to him properly, he didn't say much, just that, just that Chris called him Dada" she said quietly.

"God Addison his face" Meredith said with a slight whisper "He just, he froze, for a second he froze, and then he just handed Chris to me and he was out the door and, nobody's heard from him since, I can't even, I don't even know what to say to him but, all I know is Chris loves him, he loves him and he misses him and, I just want him to come back to Seattle so, so we can talk about this, he can't just run away, that's not fair"

"No, it's not" Addison said quietly "Meredith, do you, do you have, feelings for him? Like, loving feelings?"

"What?" Meredith spluttered "Addison that's, that's, that's ridiculous is what it is, ridiculous, I don't, I don't have feelings for Mark, I don't, I mean, obviously I love him, obviously because, he's my friend, and he's Chris's godfather and, and Derek, Derek he, he, I love Derek, he's, I love Derek…."

"Meredith" Addison said softly "I'm not saying you don't love Derek, not in the slightest but, Derek he, he's gone, Derek's been gone for, over a year now, and, you will always love him, but it's ok to move on, he'd want you to move on"

"Not with Mark" Meredith said tearfully "Addison he wouldn't want me to move on with Mark"

"Does Mark make you happy?" Addison asked "Honestly, forget what some people might say or think, just think about when you're at home with Mark and the baby, are you happy?"

"Yeah" Meredith said shakily "When it's just us, we're, we're happy"

"Then Derek would be happy for you" Addison said softly "Meredith if you love Mark, then let him in, let him be there for you"

"It's not that easy" she sniffled "I don't want to hurt anyone"

"I know, and you won't"

"I just want him to come home" Meredith whispered "Please just, try and make him come home"

"I will sweetie, it'll be ok, just go and get some rest, try and calm down, I'll speak to you soon"

"Thank you Addison"

"Bye Mer" Addison said quietly before hanging up.

~x~

"Hey" Addison said with a small smile as Mark walked down her stairs later that day.

"Hey" he said quietly "Where's Sam?"

"I sent him to get some food, so we can talk"

"Oh" he nodded, sitting down on the sofa next to her.

"Why did you run Mark?" she sighed.

"He isn't my son" Mark said shakily "No matter what I feel for that baby, he isn't my son, he's Derek's son, and Meredith is Derek's wife, this isn't right, I shouldn't, I shouldn't play happy families with them, it's not right"

"Mark, Derek's gone" Addison said gently "I hate, I hate it too, believe me, I wish I could speak to him, I wish I could see him, but he's gone, and you and Meredith, if you're happy together, then that is all that matters"

"But that's not true!" Mark said loudly "He hated me after everything with you and this, this is worse Addison, you know it is so much worse, it's _Meredith_, and his kid, his son, I don't have any right to feel the way I feel"

"How do you feel? What do you feel for her Mark?"

"Everything" he whispered.

"Then you need to go home, go to her, and tell her that, she is desperate for you to just go home, and you owe it to yourself and to her, to try and be happy"

"If Derek was here…."

"But he's not Mark, Derek isn't here, everything would be completely different if he was here, I know you feel like you're betraying him but you're not, he has always wanted you and Meredith to be happy, that is all he ever wanted, he would understand that the two most important people in his life turned to each other after something so awful, and so cruel to life, he would understand that, so if you love her Mark, don't let her go"

"But it's not that easy…."

"You're the only one standing in the way of your happiness Mark" she sighed, Mark put his head back on the sofa and let out a heavy sigh.

_Chapter 7 to follow…._


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: This was one of the first chapters I wrote for this fic haha! Reviews would be amazing as always :)**

* * *

><p><em>With Or Without You<em>

_Chapter 7  
><em>_~x~_

"Sshh baby, sshh Mommy's got you, Mommy's got you" Meredith said as she paced Chris's nursery, rubbing her hand against his back, her lips against his soft curls "Sshh honey please, please stop crying, you're ok, we'll be ok" she whispered "We'll be ok, just me and you baby, we'll be ok" she said closing her eyes as she felt tears build "We'll be ok" she said quietly, her voice cracking, her heart jumped when she felt two arms wrap around her, she looked up and her eyes met Mark's, she started to cry hard into his chest, he took Chris from her and whispered soothingly to him, pulling Meredith close to him with his other arm.

"We'll be ok" he said strongly "We'll all be ok, now little man, what are all these tears about?" he said wiping them from Chris's cheeks, Chris sniffled a little and cuddled close to Mark "I've missed you too champ, I'm not going anywhere ever again, I promise, I promise" he said moving his hand to Meredith's cheek and stroking it softly "Never again, I'm sorry" he whispered, bringing his lips to her forehead softly.

"How about you come and lie with me and Mommy?" Mark said softly, looking to Chris's sparkling blue eyes "Come on" he said guiding Meredith towards her bedroom, he climbed onto the bed and lay down, lying Chris on the bed next to him, Meredith lay on Chris's other side so she faced Mark, they lay there for a while, Chris gurgling a little and rolling himself over, no words being said.

"I'm sorry Mer" Mark said quietly after a few minutes "I'm sorry for running"

"I know" Meredith sniffled "Thank you for coming back"

"I don't want to be anywhere else" Mark said softly.

"I, I know we need to talk but, Mark this is the quietest he's been all day and, I just really need to sleep right now" she breathed.

"Then we'll sleep" he smiled "We'll talk in the morning, you get yourself in bed, I'll go and put this little one down in his crib"

"Come, come back though" Meredith stuttered "Come back"

"I promise" Mark said kissing her hand, he let Meredith kiss Chris goodnight before lifting him up and moving into the nursery, he put Chris in his crib before moving back into Meredith's room, she was under the covers softly snoring, he slipped off his jeans so he was in his boxers and t-shirt and climbed into the bed.

"Mark?" Meredith mumbled.

"Sshh, go to sleep" Mark whispered.

"Come closer" she said reached out to him, he shuffled closer to her body and wrapped his arms around her, he brushed his lips across her forehead before they both fell to sleep.

~x~

"Hey" Meredith whispered when she woke up next to Mark the next morning, their bodies slightly linked.

"Hey" he whispered back, they stared at each other in silence, their eyes searching one another's, they slowly started to move closer, their lips touched softly and soon enough they were kissing deeply, after a minute they slowly pulled away, Meredith's eyes slowly opening.

"Hey" he said with a whisper.

"Hey" she said with a small smile.

"I'm scared too" Mark said stroking her cheek "Really scared but, Mer I, I love you, I love, I love being here, being here with you and Chris, I love it, and I love you both, and I'm completely freaked out but, if you want to try, if you want us to try this, really try this, then I'm in"

"I love you too" Meredith said bringing her hand to meet his "And I, I want us to do this"

"Ok" Mark said softly "And, what about, the other thing, the, the Dad, thing"

"Carolyn and Addison they, I talked to them both about it because, I was freaked out too Mark, I really was, and I needed, I needed their, advice I guess and, they both said pretty much the same thing, if that's who he sees you as, his Dad, then, maybe we should let him call you Dad, but he needs to know, without a doubt, that Derek is his father, Derek gave him his eyes and his hair, that the blood that runs through his veins is Derek's, he has to know that"

"I know" Mark said quickly "Mer I know, I would never try and take Derek's place, ever, that's not what this is about, not at all"

"I know" Meredith said kissing him softly "I know, I know Mark, and, he knows that too, Derek, he knows that, so, we, we can do this, we can, be a family"

"Definitely" Mark said softly "I guess it's just, he only knows about the word Dad because of us talking about Derek all the time around him, and if he calls me Dad because of that, then he's already confused"

"He's 8 months old Mark, he doesn't understand, and that's ok because when he gets older we'll, we'll explain to him the truth, and he will still love you just as much, I know he will"

"I just want us to be a family" he murmured against her hair.

"Me too" she whispered.

"And that is the little man himself" he said with a slight laugh as they heard Chris giggle a little through the baby monitor.

"Go and get him" Meredith said with a small smile "Bring him in here"

"Ok" Mark smiled, he pecked her lips before moving into the nursery, Chris was reaching up to him with a giggle "Hey little man" he smiled lifting him out "Ooh stinky diaper" he said with a slight laugh, he lay him down on the changing table and started to change the diaper, pulling stupid faces and Chris and making him giggle, once he was done he picked him up and carried him into Meredith.

"He only laughs like that with you" Meredith said with a small smile "Good morning my beautiful boy" she said accepting him into her arms "Are you hungry baby?"

Chris nuzzled against Meredith's chest slightly, Meredith hitched up her shirt and let Chris latch onto her "Mark" she laughed as he turned his head slightly "You can look at me when I breast feed y'know? I've said this, countless times, you were there when I gave birth, and it's not like you've never seen boobs before" she smirked.

"I know it's just, I don't know" he shrugged with a slight laugh "So uh, what d'you want to do today? We could go out, get some lunch, or I could make us something, whatever you want"

"Well, maybe you could make us some lunch, and then, we could go for a walk in the woods"

"Sounds great" Mark said with a small smile.

"Go and have a shower" Meredith smiled "Relax, before the madness starts"

"I love you" he whispered softly, kissing her gently.

"We love you too" she smiled, Mark kissed the back of Chris's head before heading into the bathroom.

~x~

"This is nice" Meredith smiled as she walked quietly with Mark, her arm linked through his, Chris settled comfortably facing outwards on the BabyBjörn on Mark's body.

"It is" Mark said with a smile "Mer, how, how are we going to tell people? Like, our friends"

"I'll tell Cristina, you tell Callie, and we'll tell them to tell everyone else" she said with a slight laugh "All they need to do is say it to one nurse and then everyone will know"

"Well yeah but, what about, Lexie" he said quietly.

"Oh crap" Meredith said with a slight groan "I, I'll tell her, tonight, I'll call her over, you need to go back to your place anyway since you have no clothes, so I'll get her over here tonight with Cristina, you can talk to Callie, no secrets, surprises yes, but secrets, no"

"No secrets" Mark said kissing her temple "Lexie will, she'll be fine, it's been, it's been years" he said with a slight disbelief "Almost 3 years since we split up, and we're all friends now, if anything, if anything she should be able to be civil about it"

"I hope so" Meredith said softly, she stopped them and stood in front of Mark, letting Chris reach out and grab her nose "Hi baby" she smiled "I love you" she said kissing his forehead "And I love you" she said softly, stretching up and kissing Mark softly "So much" she whispered.

"I love you too" Mark smiled.

"Da" Chris squealed, kicking his legs a little and stretching himself, Mark lifted him out of the carrier and turned him around, holding him up high in front of him and bringing him down to kiss him, Chris giggled loudly.

"And I love you" Mark grinned.

"Dadada" Chris babbled.

"You love your Daddy don't you baby" Meredith said stroking Chris's hair a little.

"Dada" Chris said putting his hand on Mark's face.

"Daddy loves you too" Mark whispered softly.

~x~

"MARK SLOAN YOU'VE HAD US ALL WORRIED SICK!" Carolyn Shepherd shouted down the phone before Mark could say anything.

"Stupid caller ID" he grumbled.

"What the hell were you thinking!" she exclaimed.

"I'm sorry" he said quietly "I just, I freaked out, I really freaked out"

"You promised you'd be there for them Mark" she said softly "I understand that you were freaked out but, that wasn't fair"

"I know" Mark sighed "But I, I came home last night, I came straight to Meredith, Ma I, I love her" he said quietly.

"I know you do dear"

"No, no I, I _love_ her" he said firmly.

"Mark, I know" Carolyn said with a slight laugh "And I know she loves you too, we all do, we're not stupid"

"Well, well what, what do you think, do you all hate me again? Because, I mean, I've gone and done it again haven't I, fallen for Derek's wife and, I mean, it's even worse now because, he's dead and, god he must be hating me up there" he sighed.

"He does not hate you" Carolyn said firmly "He never did, and he certainly won't now, Meredith and that boy need someone like you in their lives, Chris needs a father and Meredith, she needs your support, she needs love, and Derek knows that, and he will be proud of you for taking all of this on, for growing up and being there, but I swear to god Mark if you screw this up, if you cheat on her or leave them, he won't be happy, and neither will I, so you need to promise me that you're in this forever"

"I promise" Mark smiled "I'm not going anywhere"

"Good" she said softly "You'll all be over for christmas I hope?"

"Well, I'll have to talk to Meredith and see what our work schedule is like but, I don't see why not"

"We'd love to have you, it's been too long, and I know everyone would love to see Chris"

"He's grown up so much Ma, everyday he's doing something new, it's, amazing"

"It is" Carolyn smiled "He'll never stop doing things to amaze you, you all still do it now, I'm proud of all of you"

"We're proud of you too Ma" Mark smiled "Well, I should go, I need to get to the hospital, we'll talk soon?"

"Of course" Carolyn smiled "Bye Mark, send my love to everyone, give Chris a kiss for me"

"I will, Bye Ma" he smiled as he hung up, he put his cell back in his pocket and moved out of the home office and into the kitchen where Meredith sat feeding Chris his dinner.

"Hey" Meredith smiled "How'd it go?"

"Good" Mark said kissing the top of her head as he pulled up a chair next to her "She said they've all kind of known it was going to happen for a while, and that everyone's totally ok with it, and she made me promise not to screw it up" he said with a slight laugh "And, we're invited for christmas"

"What did you say?" Meredith asked.

"That I'd need to talk to you and check our work schedule, we can say no if you want Mer, I know they can be a bit, intimidating when they're all together"

"No no, I want too, it might be fun, and Chris needs to spend time with his family"

"So I'll tell her yes then?"

"I'll do it" Meredith smiled "I'll call her later"

"Ok, well I need to get to the hospital, face the wrath"

"You'll be fine, I've spoken to the Chief a couple of times, and I'm sure Addison probably called him too, just grovel, you're good at that"

"Ok" Mark said with a slight laugh "Bye little man" he said tickling Chris a little "And this is from Grandma" he said kissing his forehead "Bye" he whispered, brushing his lips against Meredith's.

"Bye" she whispered back.

~x~

"Can you just, say that one more time for me" Cristina said with a slight laugh as she sat opposite Meredith in her kitchen.

"Me and Mark, we're together now and, I love him" Meredith said with a small smile.

"Wow" Cristina smirked "I am so good"

"What?" Meredith laughed.

"I knew it, I knew you had feelings for him, I had a feeling a couple of months ago but this whole running off because he called him Dad thing, I knew it"

"Well you could've told me!" Meredith exclaimed "God I've been going crazy and you've known all this time?"

"Oh stop whining" Cristina said with a slight laugh.

"Hey, what are we laughing about?" Lexie said walking into the room, Cristina stopped laughing instantly "What's going on?" Lexie asked curiously.

"Lex, sit down" Meredith said quietly.

"I'll just go and, take Chris for a walk" Cristina said lifting Chris out of his bouncer and walking into the living room.

"Meredith seriously, what's wrong?" Lexie frowned.

"I'm in love with Mark" Meredith blurted "Please say something" she said as Lexie stared at her with a wide jaw.

"Well what, what are you, what are you going to, do, about it?" Lexie stuttered.

"Um well, he, he came back from LA last night and, he came straight here and, we talked and, he, he feels the same" Meredith said quietly "And we're, we're going to try and make this work"

"Ok" Lexie whispered "Ok well, ok, um, that's ok, it's, it's ok"

"It, it is?"

"Meredith me and Mark we, we broke up over, almost 3 years ago" she said disbelievingly "And, we're friends now and, I, I did think he might, have feelings for you and, he's great with Chris and, Meredith if, if he's who makes you happy then, then I'm happy for you" she said reaching for Meredith's hands and covering them with her own "I really am"

"Thank you" Meredith said with a slight whisper "You have no idea how relieved I am you said that"

"Well what would you have done if I said anything different?" Lexie said with a slight laugh.

"Told you that you'd have to get used to it" Meredith said with a small smile.

"Good" Lexie smiled "And what about the, Dada issue?"

"Mark he's, he's Daddy now" Meredith said quietly "Derek will always be his father, always, and Chris will know that but, Mark's the man in his life, he always has been, I can't take that away from Chris, he's already lost one Dad and, I can't let him lose another and, I know some people aren't going to like it or understand but, we've spoken to the Shepherds and, they're ok with it so, that's all that matters"

"Ok" Lexie said softly "Has Cristina kicked his ass for running off yet?"

"No" Meredith said with a slight laugh "He's at the hospital, grovelling"

"Yeah you're lucky, you haven't been there, the Chief is _pissed_" Lexie laughed.

"I'm not surprised" Meredith smirked "I really want this to work Lexie, Derek will always be the love of my life but, Mark I'm in love with him, and yeah if Derek was still here I wouldn't have looked at Mark twice but, that's not the point, the point is right now, I'm in love with him, and I don't want to mess this up"

"You won't" Lexie said softly "Mer I know you won't"

"Thanks" Meredith said quietly "And what about you and Jackson? How's that going?"

"It's only been a couple of dates Mer" Lexie said with a slight laugh.

"Well, he's good for you" Meredith smiled "He's on your level"

"I think so too" Lexie smiled "We're in the same place, professionally and personally, he just, gets me"

"I'm glad" Meredith said as she squeezed her hand "Do you want to stay for dinner? Me and Cristina were going to order a pizza"

"Sure" Lexie smiled "I'd love too, and Meredith, I'm glad you're happy, really"

"Thank you Lexie" Meredith smiled softly, giving her a tight hug.

~x~

"Hey" Mark smiled as he walked into the living room where Meredith, Cristina and Lexie sat eating pizza.

"Hi" Meredith said with a small smile "How'd it go?"

"Yeah it, went well, considering" he shrugged "Is Chris sleeping?"

"Yeah, he was really tired, do you want some pizza?" Meredith asked.

"Sure" Mark shrugged, sitting down next to her and taking a slice of pizza from the box "So, how are you ladies?" he asked.

"We're good" Lexie smiled.

"If you dare walk out on them again I will kick your ass, and you know I can do it" Cristina glared "Ok?"

"I'm not going anywhere" Mark smiled, glancing lovingly at Meredith.

"Ugh, you're gonna be all mushy and gross and in love aren't you" Cristina muttered.

"Leave them alone" Lexie laughed "Let them be happy, but not too happy, I don't need to see you making out ok?"

"No making out" Meredith smirked "We can do that"

"But as soon as they're gone" Mark whispered, nuzzling her neck a little.

"Down boy" Cristina said throwing a screwed up napkin at him, Meredith laughed and snuggled into Mark, smiling happily to herself.

_Chapter 8 to follow…._


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Reviews please :)**

* * *

><p><em>With Or Without You<em>

_Chapter 8  
><em>_~x~_

**1 month later.**

"Hey" Mark smiled as Meredith walked into the kitchen "How was Chris?"

"Too excited to be staying with his Uncle Alex to care that I was even there" Meredith said with a slight laugh "What's all this?" she said gesturing to the set dinner table, candles lit in the middle of it.

"Well I thought, since this is our first night alone without Chris, we could have a nice romantic meal, and then lie on the sofa and watch a movie or something" he smiled.

"Sounds perfect" Meredith said moving over to him and pecking his lips "Smells great" she smiled.

"You smell great" Mark said kissing her neck.

"I smell like Mommy" Meredith smirked.

"Exactly, you smell great" Mark smiled.

"I love you" Meredith whispered against his lips.

"I love you too" Mark smiled back.

~x~

"Mark" Meredith said looking up to Mark as they sat on the sofa together.

"Yeah babe?" he asked.

"Sleep with me" she whispered.

"You tired?"

"No" Meredith said moving to straddle his lap "_Sleep_ with me" she teased.

"Are you sure?" Mark said brushing his hands over her hips "Because we don't have to if you're not…."

"Mark" Meredith said softly "I'm sure, I promise you I'm sure, so please, take me to bed, because I don't think I can wait anymore"

Mark smiled at her, he moved his hands up into her hair and pulled her down into a kiss, Meredith wrapped her arms around his neck, Mark moved his arms to wrap around her legs as he stood, Meredith wrapped her legs tightly around his waist as he carried her up the stairs.

~x~

"Oh my god" Meredith panted "That was incredible"

"Yeah" Mark nodded breathlessly "That was, amazing, really, amazing"

"How the hell did I go that long without sex?" she said with a slight laugh.

"I know, for a couple of dirty mistresses we've been celibate for a _long_ time" he smirked, kissing against her neck.

"Yeah" she breathed.

"Hey" he said stroking her cheek "You're ok right?"

"Of course I am" she said with a small smile "It's just, this is, really happening, me and you, it feels really real now"

"It's really real" he said softly.

"You think we're gonna make it?"

"I do" Mark smiled "We don't have to do anything you don't want to Mer, there doesn't have to be wedding rings or, more kids, it can just be, me, you and Chris, I don't even have to live here if you don't want me too, we can just, be us"

"What if I said I wanted more, than just being us"

"Well, I'm up for anything you want"

"It's just, a little brother or sister for Chris might be, nice, being an only child growing up was, well it sucked so, we could maybe talk about that"

"Ok" Mark smiled "Look uh, I got a call the other day, from Sloane"

"Oh" Meredith said with surprise "Is everything ok?"

"She wants to move out here, she's been fighting with her Mom again and, she wants to move in with me but, I haven't seen her since she gave up the baby, she ignores my calls, and now because she's in a fight with her Mom, she wants to see me and, I want her to be here because she wants to be, not because I'll pay for everything"

"Then don't" Meredith replied "Don't pay for everything, tell her if she wants to be out here then that's up to her but, at the end of the day Mark she's almost 20, she needs to get herself a job, pay her own way, and if she doesn't, she's gone, it's that simple….what?" she laughed when he looked at her curiously.

"God you are such a Mom now" he said with a slight laugh.

"Shut up" she said dryly.

"That's not bad thing, it's kinda hot" he grinned kissing at her neck "You're a MILF"

"You did not just call me a MILF" Meredith laughed.

"Oh but it's so true" he mumbled kissing further down her body.

"Mark" Meredith laughed, gasping as he brushed his lips against her stomach.

"You're so sexy Mer, so sexy, and so beautiful" he mumbled, kissing back up towards her mouth "I love you" he whispered against her lips.

"I love you too" Meredith said softly "I want you to move in, I know you pretty much already live here but, I want you to give up your apartment, I want, I want you to have more than a couple of drawers, I want you to live here, and if Sloane gets a job, then she can have a room here too" she smiled "I'll be the cool step-mom"

"The step-MILF" he grinned.

"Idiot" she chuckled, hitting him on the chest.

"Wanna go again" he said huskily.

"Definitely" she whispered, kissing him firmly on the lips.

~x~

"Hey" Meredith smiled as she walked into Alex's kitchen the next morning "Hi baby" she said instantly scooping Chris out of his playpen and kissing his face.

"Mama" he giggled.

"Did you have a good time with Uncle Alex sweetie?" she asked "Yeah" she laughed as he grinned at her "How was he?" she asked.

"Good" Alex smiled "Ate all his food, went to sleep when I put him to bed, he was good"

"Good" Meredith beamed, she kissed Chris's forehead and put him back in the playpen "Thank you" she said accepting a cup of coffee from him "And thanks for last night"

"Anytime" Alex smiled "How was the dirty sex?"

"Alex!" Meredith exclaimed, her cheeks blushing.

"Oh come on Mer" he said with a slight laugh "I knew from the minute you asked me to look after the little man that's what was about to go down, and you're walking in 'too much sex' pain"

"You're such a pig" Meredith smirked "But it was pretty damn amazing"

"Right" he laughed "Well, good for you Mer, I'm, I'm happy for you"

"Because I'm having sex?" Meredith said with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, no" he smirked "Because, you're happy, and, I know we weren't exactly close but, I know Derek would be happy for you too"

"I hope so" Meredith said quietly.

"He would be Mer, he wouldn't have wanted you to not move on, and I know it's hard but, you, you need to, try to, not think about him so much, he will always be there, and it's important for Chris to know who his father is but, you're never going to be able to be truly with Sloan, unless you let Derek go"

"I know" Meredith agreed "God, when did we grow up Alex?" she laughed.

"I know right" Alex smirked.

"So…" Meredith started "I got an interesting text yesterday, from Jackson"

"Hmm? Yeah? What about?" Alex stuttered.

"Oh nothing really, just that, you invited someone over for dinner tomorrow night, a very nice, kind, sweet person, someone very, innocent"

"I like her ok?" Alex sighed "I like her"

"I know" Meredith smiled "And I know she likes you too, so just, please don't break her heart, this is April we're talking about, she's, she'll fall for you, and you have to be ready for that, because I don't think you need to be a duck again, you were a duck with Lexie and that just, complicated everything and people got hurt, and I really just want us all to be friends, and Chris doesn't need Aunts and Uncles who hate each other, so, look me in the eye, and tell me you won't hurt her"

"I won't hurt her" Alex said firmly.

"Well alright then" Meredith smiled "So, Sloane might be coming to live with us, I said if she can get a job and pay her way, she's welcome to a room"

"Think she'll stick around this time?"

"I hope so" Meredith sighed "Mark he's, he's a little wary of her I think, so I really hope she stays, and that she isn't a complete nightmare"

"I'm sure she'll be fine, hell if me and you can do it so can she" he smirked.

"True" Meredith laughed "Not bad for 2 kids raised by wolves huh?"

"Not bad at all" Alex laughed.

_Chapter 9 to follow…._


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews so far, would love a few more though :P Can't guarantee an update next week as I haven't written it yet! (I write chapters in advance usually!)**

* * *

><p><em>With Or Without You<em>

_Chapter 9  
><em>_~x~_

**2 months later.**

"Hello" Carolyn beamed when she opened her front door to Mark and Meredith, Mark held a sleeping Chris against him "Come on in, oh dears look how big he's gotten" she smiled.

"He's exhausted" Mark said softly "Can we put him down somewhere?"

"Your usual room is all set up for you" Carolyn smiled "Go on up"

"Thanks, it's great to see you Ma" he said kissing her cheek.

"You too dear" Carolyn smiled, Mark let Meredith kiss Chris's hand before taking him up the stairs.

"Oh come here" Carolyn said pulling a nervous Meredith into a hug "You look well dear"

"Thanks, you too" Meredith said quietly "Mark's really been looking forward to this"

"And I'm sure you've been dreading it" Carolyn laughed "It's ok Meredith, everyone's excited to see you all, you don't need to worry"

"Have you met me?" Meredith said with a laugh.

"That is true" Carolyn smirked "Now come on, let's get you a drink" she linked her arm through Meredith's and took her into the kitchen.

~x~

"Hello?" Amelia called out as she walked into Carolyn's house, hearing loud noise from the living room she headed inside to find her brothers in law and Mark all chatting away while the kids played loudly, a pair of them fighting in one corner, girls giggling in another "Hey!" she called out loudly.

"Amy" Mark beamed "Amelia" he smirked as she glared at him "I didn't think you'd ever get here"

"My flight got delayed, where are the women?"

"Kitchen" he smiled, Amelia nodded and headed into the kitchen.

"Your kids are all tearing each other apart in there while the men are talking, you do know that don't you?" she smirked as she walked into the kitchen where Carolyn, Kathleen, Nancy and Rachel all sat talking.

"They can handle it" Nancy shrugged "You're late"

"My flight was delayed, I left a message" Amelia shrugged.

"Well I'm glad you're here now" Carolyn smiled, standing to hug her.

"Where's Meredith?"

"I'm right here" Meredith smiled as she carried a sleepy Chris into the room "He just woke up from his nap"

"Hi little man" Amelia smiled, stroking Chris's hair lightly "Your Aunt Addie told me to give you a kiss ok?" she kissed his cheek gently and he smiled tiredly at her, herself and Meredith sat down at the table and they carried on talking for a while, conversation flowing more easily.

"So…" Amelia started with a slight smirk, turning to Meredith as she bounced Chris on her knee.

"Here we go" Meredith smirked.

"Amelia" Kathleen warned.

"How long did you think you and Mark could play happy families before doing the nasty?" Amelia asked with a laugh "You are, doing it right?"

"Amelia!" Rachel and Carolyn exclaimed.

"It's fine" Meredith laughed lightly "Me and Mark are, very happy"

"Face like an angel, hips like the devil huh?" Nancy smirked.

"Nancy!" Carolyn scolded "That is, that is entirely inappropriate"

"Ha, she still doesn't know does she?" Amelia laughed.

"Amelia" Kathleen warned.

"Know what?" Carolyn asked.

"Mark and Nancy used to do it in the back of your car" Amelia snorted "But not before he treated Kathleen to a night with, _those hips_" she smirked.

"I am going to kill you" Kathleen hissed.

"Oh dear lord…." Carolyn gasped "How could you? He's like your brother…."

"He wasn't then" Nancy smirked "Mom it was just a bit of fun, we were young"

"And incredibly stupid" Kathleen grumbled.

"I don't know how you cope Meredith, knowing what a…." Rachel started.

"Manwhore he was?" Meredith finished with a smirk "That was a long time ago now, I wasn't exactly the relationship type either once upon a time, we're different now, we're, grown up" she laughed.

"Hey" Mark smiled "What?" he pouted as they all giggled a little.

"Nothing honey" Meredith laughed.

~x~

"Finally" Rachel breathed out as she collapsed next to her husband Joe on the sofa "They're all asleep"

"Good" Carolyn smiled "Today has been wonderful hasn't it"

"It's been great" Nancy agreed "We haven't had a christmas eve like this in years"

"Derek would've loved it" Amelia said quietly.

"Yeah" Mark sighed, pulling Meredith closer against him "He would"

"Let's make a toast" Kathleen said lifting her mug of hot chocolate a little "To Daddy and Derek, the two strongest, most loyal men I have ever known, even though they can't be with us now, I'm sure they're out there somewhere together looking down on us"

"I'm sure my Christopher will be looking down at all of our beautiful children, even the one's he never met" Carolyn said glancing to Meredith and her sons-in-law "And our perfect grandchildren, and he will be proud of everything every single one of you has achieved, and my boy, my Derek, I'm sure he's looking down on his family, and he's happy with what he sees, I am sure of it, to the one's who can't be with us, we love you"

"We love you" everyone repeated, tapping their mugs together, tears filling every single woman's eyes.

"Sshh it's ok" Mark whispered against Meredith's hair "Don't cry"

"I'm fine" she mumbled against him.

"Do you want to take a minute?" he whispered softly, Meredith nodded a little "We're just gonna go, get some air" Mark said standing up and pulling Meredith with him, Carolyn smiled at him reassuringly as he led Meredith through to the kitchen, he pulled the patio doors open a little and leaned up against the frame, moving Meredith so she stood leaning against his body, her face buried in his chest.

"I don't know how to be with you and not think of him" Meredith said quietly after a minute.

"What are you saying?" Mark frowned.

"I, I don't know I, just, just ignore me" Meredith sighed, pulling away from him and moving back a little into the kitchen.

"Meredith, I'm not expecting you to forget about him, because I never will either, but, if you really believe that you don't know how to be with me then, then maybe we're doing the wrong thing because, I can't live my life in his shadow, that's not fair, on anyone"

"I don't know what I think ok?" she exclaimed "Mark I love you, I love you so much and I don't want to lose you but…."

"But what Meredith?" Mark sighed.

"I feel like I can't be in this house with you because it's Derek I'm supposed to be with, just like back in Seattle, that's Derek's house, and I'm there with you and, it feels wrong and, I don't know if that's ever going to change" she finished with a whisper.

"Being with me feels wrong?" Mark said slowly "Great Meredith, that makes me feel _so much better_ about all of this, thank you" he said moving towards the kitchen door.

"Wait Mark I, I didn't, where, where are you going?" Meredith stuttered, tears falling down her cheeks.

"I need some space" Mark said walking out of the room, Meredith quickly chased after him.

"Mark please, Mark, don't go, please, don't leave, you promised you'd never leave me, you promised" Meredith begged, gripping onto his arms "Mark you promised you wouldn't leave" she sobbed.

"Meredith you just told me that being with me and not Derek feels wrong!" Mark exclaimed "What the hell am I supposed to say to that? I know you love him, I know that if he was still here we never would've happened but that doesn't change how I feel about you! I love you! But I can't be with you if all you think about is him!"

"What about Chris?" Meredith asked firmly "You're just going to up and leave him too? Let him lose 2 Dads before his 1st birthday"

"Oh, no no you don't get to do that, you don't get to bring Chris into this, that isn't fair" Mark replied firmly "You're the one messing with my head, you're the one who said you wanted more, you said you wanted a _child_ with me Meredith, so what was that? Just something you said to keep me sweet? Have you ever really wanted me or do you just want someone to fill Derek's shoes"

"I want, you" Meredith said shakily "All I want, is you, please Mark, please don't go, please" she whimpered "I love you, I love you, please, please don't leave me, please" she said gripping onto the front of his shirt and resting her forehead against her hands "Please" she whispered "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for what I said, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please, please don't leave me, please, I need you, I need you, it's not just about Chris, it's not, it's not about Derek, it's about you, I need _you_, please Mark, please, please" she sobbed "Please, don't go"

"I know it's hard" Mark whispered as his arms came around her "I know it's hard to let him go but, if we're going to do this then, then you have too, you have to let him go"

"I know" she whispered against him.

"I promised I'd never leave again and I'm not going too" Mark said quietly "I'll never leave you and I'll never leave Chris, but I have to know that, that you're not going to leave either, that you're in this as much as I am, because I can't be with someone who doesn't really want to be with me, I might have done some screwed up things in the past Meredith but I don't deserve that"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry" she said reaching up and wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him down a little to peck his lips "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you, I want to be with you, I'm not going to leave, I promise, I love you" she said pecking his lips again "I'm so sorry"

"Sshh, it's ok" he said hugging her tightly "It's ok, let's just forget about it, let's enjoy christmas"

"I didn't mean it to sound the way it did" she whispered "That's not what I meant, not, not the way you took it I just, I'm just, scared sometimes, that he's, that he's mad at me for, for being happy"

"Babe, all he's ever wanted is for you to be happy" Mark said stroking her cheek "And just because it's not the way you planned it, doesn't mean he'll be any less happy for you, ok?"

"Ok" Meredith sniffled "And, and I do want us to be a family Mark, I really do, me, you, Chris, and any children we might have in the future, and, and Sloane, Sloane is part of our family too, even if she's, crazy and rebellious and, pretty much everything I was when I was her age" she said with a slight laugh.

"Yeah, well it's not like she can get herself into much more trouble" he smirked "She's kinda done everything"

"True" Meredith smirked back "God I'm so sorry" she sighed, dropping her forehead against him "I don't know what's wrong with me lately, I'm a wreck"

"No you're not" he said kissing her hair "You're just overworked and overtired, let's go to bed, tomorrow is going to be hectic, it's like nothing you've ever seen"

"We should probably go and say goodnight" Meredith sighed.

"They've probably been listening the entire time"

"Yeah, let's go to bed" Meredith said with a nervous laugh, Mark chuckled a little and kissed her gently, taking her hand and leading her up to their room, Meredith leaned into Chris's travel cot and stroked his soft hair gently "Sleep well baby" she whispered.

"Night little man" Mark whispered, stroking his hair as Meredith moved away to change, once they were both in their pyjama's they climbed into the bed, Mark wrapped his arms around Meredith and they slowly fell to sleep.

~x~

Mark groaned a little as he heard Chris start to cry in the middle of the night, Meredith instantly stirred awake, she climbed out of bed and picked Chris up.

"Hey baby what's wrong?" she whispered, rocking him in her arms "It's ok, Mommy's here"

"What is it?" Mark mumbled.

"He's hungry" Meredith said as Chris nuzzled against her breast instinctively "He shouldn't be, but a little milk won't hurt, especially if we're going to be woken up in an hours time" she laughed glancing to the clock that read 4am.

"Bring him into bed" Mark said reaching out to her.

"I'm gonna take him downstairs" she yawned "You get some more sleep" she said reaching over and running her hand through his hair.

"You sure?" Mark asked.

"I'm sure" Meredith said softly, she laughed a little as Mark almost instantly fell back to sleep, she picked up a blanket from the end of the bed and wrapped it around herself and Chris as she carried him down the stairs, she smiled softly at the present filled living room as she settled herself in the armchair, adjusting Chris into her arms and lifting her t-shirt so he could latch on.

"Oh uh, hey" Nancy stuttered as she walked into the living room a couple of minutes later.

"Hey" Meredith said quietly "Sorry, did he wake you?"

"No, no I, I don't really sleep that well in this house" Nancy said with a soft laugh "I prefer my own bed"

"Who doesn't?" Meredith said with a small smile.

"Do you mind if I…." Nancy said gesturing to the sofa.

"Of course not, as long as you don't mind this" Meredith said gesturing slightly to herself.

"Not like I haven't seen it all before" Nancy chuckled lightly as she sat down.

"He doesn't usually wake up for a feed anymore" Meredith said quietly "Maybe it's the change of routine"

"Mom said Derek was a greedy baby, which is funny considering he turned into such a health nut"

"Yeah" Meredith laughed "It used to drive me crazy, trying to get him to eat a slice of pizza on a Friday night was like drawing blood from a stone"

"Whereas Mark just eats anything in sight" Nancy smirked.

"I spend so much more money on groceries now, especially when Sloane comes over, she's just as bad, but neither of them seem to put on any weight, that's not fair" Meredith laughed.

"That's the Sloan genes for you" Nancy sighed.

"I um, I'm sorry about, everything last night, I know you must've heard it all and, you probably think I'm crazy…" Meredith started.

"Meredith, we're all a little crazy in this family" Nancy laughed softly "And, and don't worry about it, I can't even, I mean I miss Derek, I do, but I can't even imagine how hard it was, how hard it sometimes still is, to move on, but trust me, that's what he would've wanted, and so what if it's with Mark? If he makes you happy, and he treats you right, then there's nothing to be ashamed of, and I've, I've never seen Mark look at anyone the way he looks at you, and I've seen him with _a lot_ of girls, hell I was one of the girls" she smirked.

"Right" Meredith laughed "I guess, I guess it's just hard to accept that the plans I had, the plans we all had, aren't going to happen anymore"

"I didn't want a big family" Nancy said with a small smile "Andrew proposed 4 times before I said yes, I dragged the wedding planning out for a year, and we had our first kid by accident, things don't ever go as you planned Meredith, but one day you'll wake up next to the man you love, you'll hear your kids laughing across the hall and, you'll realise they're the best thing that ever happened to you, planned or not"

"I got you all wrong y'know" Meredith replied with a small smile.

"I'm not so McBitchy after all huh?" Nancy said with a teasing smirk.

"How the hell do you know about that?" Meredith laughed.

"Please, that nickname was around the hospital within 20 minutes of it first being said, here comes McDreamy's McBitchy sister" she mocked.

"You should know as well as anyone that a hospital is just high school with scalpels" Meredith smirked.

"I guess it is" Nancy laughed.

"I did really love Derek, it was never a game to me" Meredith said quietly "You know that right?"

"I know" Nancy said softly "I was just being a bitch, Addison was one of my best friends and everything got so, screwed up, I missed her and I missed my brother, so I was a bitch about it, but now, now that ends, you're family, you and Mark and Chris, you're family"

"Thank you Nancy" Meredith said with a soft smile "All done baby?" she whispered to Chris as he pulled away from her, she covered herself up and lay him against her shoulder, burping him gently "So you and Mark, you might have more kids?" Nancy asked.

"I think so" Meredith smiled "I don't know, we'll see what happens I guess, I know Mark would have a baseball team of kids, but we're nowhere near ready for that"

"You will be, one day" Nancy smiled.

"Yeah, we will" Meredith smiled "Thank you Nancy, again"

"Anytime" Nancy said with a soft laugh "We should probably all go up and try and get a little sleep, christmas day can get a little crazy around here"

"I can only imagine" Meredith laughed.

~x~

"Good morning" Mark mumbled tiredly as he felt Meredith wake beside him "I hear footsteps outside our door"

"We should probably get up" she yawned.

"Probably" he mumbled as he kissed her neck "Merry Christmas baby"

"Merry Christmas" Meredith said with a soft smile "Mmm, Mark" she giggled as he continued to kiss her neck "Stop, Chris is right there and we, we have to get up"

"As soon as we get home I'm going to give you an adult kind of christmas" he mumbled against her skin "Maybe you could wear that black lacy thing"

"We'll see" she laughed.

"Aunty Meredith! Uncle Mark! It's Christmas! Wake up!" the voice of one of the Shepherd kids shouted through their bedroom door, Mark groaned and buried his face in Meredith's neck.

"We'll be down in a minute" he shouted back, Meredith stood and scooped a sleepy Chris from his crib, kissing his soft curls gently, she smiled as Mark wrapped his arms around her from behind and rested his chin on her shoulder "I love you babe" he whispered "So much"

"I love you too" she whispered back, they stood together for another few seconds before heading downstairs to the christmas madness.

_Chapter 10 to follow…._


	10. Chapter 10

_With Or Without You_

_Chapter 10  
><em>_~x~_

**2 months later.**

"Thatcher, hi, come on in" Meredith smiled as she opened her front door.

"Did I get the time wrong? Nobody else seems to be here…."

"They were held up at the hospital but they're all at home now getting ready, they'll be here soon" she smiled "So you got the cake?"

"Yeah" he smiled, patting the top of the white box in his hands "Where shall I put it?"

"We've got a table set up in here" she smiled, leading him through to the dining room, Thatcher put the cake on the table and then gave Meredith a small hug.

"I remember your first birthday"

"You do?" she said quietly.

"Of course" he smiled softly "I got you this cute little rabbit, you slept with it almost every night until you got that Anatomy Jane doll, and now, now you have your own little one and you are, an amazing mother" Thatcher said with a breath "I am so so proud of you"

"Dad" she whispered, hugging him tightly "Thank you"

"You don't have to thank me for anything" he said quietly, kissing her temple gently "Now where is my grandson?"

"He's taking a nap, I was just going to get him, why don't you go" she smiled "I'll make us some coffee"

"Ok" Thatcher smiled, he headed up to the nursery to get Chris and joined Meredith at the kitchen table minutes later.

"Hello sleepyhead" Meredith said quietly as she kissed Chris's hair gently.

"Mama" Chris yawned, nuzzling into Thatcher's chest sleepily.

"I can't believe he's one" Meredith breathed out "I have a one year old, he's trying to walk y'know"

"You are?" Thatcher laughed, tickling Chris's stomach "Well aren't you a smart boy"

"He's giving me mini heart attacks all the time" Meredith laughed "He's so brave, he'll pull himself up so he's standing and then just let go of what he's holding, he pretty much ends up on his butt and then cries"

"Uh-oh" Thatcher chuckled "You'll get the hang of it Chris, your Mommy did, but she did a lot of crying too, and god help her when you start to run, I know you'll be a fast little thing"

"Probably" Meredith laughed "He looks like you" she said a little quieter "I've never noticed that before, I mean I always thought I looked like my Mom"

"You do but, there's parts of me in you too" Thatcher smiled "And Chris is the perfect mix of you and Derek"

"Yeah, he is" Meredith said with a soft smile "He's getting Mark's sulky attitude though" she laughed.

"He'll be a good mix of all three of you" Thatcher said with a soft laugh.

"I hope so" Meredith smiled "Ok baby boy, let's go and get you into your birthday party outfit" she said as she stood and took Chris into her arms "You'll be ok for a minute?"

"Of course" Thatcher smiled "Be a good boy for your Mommy champ" Chris giggled and hid his face into Meredith's neck.

~x~

"How's it going in here babe?" Mark asked as he walked into the kitchen later that day with Chris in his arms, Meredith putting a candle into the cake.

"He's not supposed to see it yet" she pouted.

"Mer he's one, he doesn't really know what's going on" Mark smirked "And he was getting a little overwhelmed in there, it's a lot of people all at once"

"Are you ok sweetheart?" Meredith asked as she kissed Chris's hand.

"Mama" he gurgled.

"You are so big" she breathed out "I know I keep saying it but, it just feels like yesterday when I took the test…" she trailed off a little and sighed.

"I know" Mark said sadly "He'd be so proud Mer"

"I know he would" Meredith smiled softly "Your Daddy Derek is out there somewhere sending you lots of birthday kisses baby boy"

"Come on" Mark smiled "Let's get that cake out there, give your Mommy a kiss bud" Chris reached over and kissed Meredith loudly.

"Thanks honey" Meredith laughed, she tickled him gently before getting the cake ready to take into all of the guests.

~x~

"Mark, he should be in bed" Meredith smirked as she walked out of the bathroom in a towel, her hair damp and curly, finding Mark sitting cross-legged on the bed with Chris lying in front of him in his diaper, tickling his stomach to make him giggle "You're just getting him all hyped up again"

"It's his birthday" Mark said defensively "He's entitled to a full day of fun"

"Well then, you can deal with him when he gets cranky and out of routine" she said with a soft laugh.

"Yes Ma'am" Mark smirked.

"Mama" Chris babbled, looking over to his mother and holding out his hand.

"Are you having fun with Daddy baby?" she said with a soft laugh, reaching down to kiss his forehead "Mommy's going to get into her pyjamas and then we can have some cuddles if your Daddy is so insistent on keeping you awake a little longer" she smiled, Mark smirked and watched as she began to change.

"Stop perving on me in the presence of our son Mark" she said over her shoulder.

"Can't help it, you're beautiful"

"My body isn't exactly what it was before I got pregnant, my hips never went back to normal"

"Well I never saw your pre-baby naked body did I? And I'm still here, staring at you every chance I get, since when were you body conscious babe?"

"I'm not" she laughed softly "I guess I just have to get used to not being 25 anymore"

"Our 20s were overrated" Mark shrugged lightly "This is real life"

"Mature you is so weird sometimes" Meredith laughed, climbing into bed beside him and kissing him gently.

"The old me is only good in one place now, the bed" Mark murmured as he kissed her neck.

"Mark, inappropriate" she laughed, smacking his hand lightly.

"Alright, alright I'm sorry" he laughed "Mer I just, I just want to say, thank you"

"What for?" she frowned.

"For letting me in, for letting me be his Dad, I know it wasn't easy…"

"Hey" Meredith said with a small smile "That doesn't matter now, you are an amazing father and you make me feel, you make me feel so so happy, you're his Dad Mark, he loves you, you've been there since day one and I know you always will be, I trust you more than anyone"

"I trust you with my life Mer" Mark laughed softly, kissing her gently "We're gonna do this aren't we, be a family"

"Absolutely" Meredith grinned, laughing softly as Chris began to giggle.

_Chapter 11 (featuring a 3 year time jump) to follow…. _

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I am SO sorry this update took so so long! I was completely blocked for ages, was busy with other fics and busy with life! Again I can't guarantee updates regularly, especially when I start university in 3 weeks time! :O Please review and forgive me for the lack of updates :P**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry for another long wait! Hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

><p><em>With Or Without You<em>

_Chapter 11  
><em>_~x~_

**3 years later.**

"Meredith, are you ok in there?" Mark called out as he knocked lightly on the door to the bathroom.

"Just a second" Meredith called out shakily, he heard the toilet flush and the taps turn on and off before Meredith opened the door.

"Mer you look uh..." Mark started tentatively.

"Like crap" she grumbled.

"Do you want me to call in sick for you..."

"No" she sighed "I'm fine it, it passes by 10"

"But Mer..."

"Mark, it passes by 10" she said giving him a look.

"Wha...are you saying...are you..."

"I'm not sure but, I skipped a period" she said biting her bottom lip a little "And this isn't the first morning I've thrown up, we, we could do a test at work"

"Are you, happy that you might be?" he asked carefully.

"Well we were going to try eventually so, yeah, yeah I am" she said with a small smile "Chris is 4, I think, I think it's time so, so if I'm not maybe, maybe we should try"

"Ok" Mark smiled "If you're not, we'll try"

"I really love you, y'know?" Meredith whispered as she brought her arms up and around his neck.

"I know" Mark smirked, he reached down to kiss her but before he could Meredith pushed him back and went back into the bathroom to throw up again.

~x~

"So..." Mark said quietly as Meredith walked out of the bathroom in the hospital room they'd hijacked "What's the verdict? Did I knock you up?"

"Do you have to put it like that Mark? Really?"

"Have we made a baby?" he asked with a small smile, kissing her gently, she sighed a little, took a beat and looked down at the test "Mer?" he prompted.

"We made a baby" she whispered before looking up at him "We made a baby Mark"

"We made a baby" he repeated with a big smile, a second passed before he kissed her hard on the lips, both of them grinning uncontrollably, Meredith laughed a little as he kissed her nose and got to his knees, pressing his lips on her stomach "Hi baby" he whispered.

"Y'know he can't hear you yet"

"He?" Mark smirked.

"Or she" she shrugged.

"I love you Mer, so much" he breathed out as he stood and kissed her again.

"I love you too" she smiled gently.

"Marry me" he said quietly.

"Mark" Meredith said with surprise "I thought we said..."

"I know, and you don't have to say yes but, I, I want to be able to call you my wife, I want to introduce you as, Meredith Grey-Sloan, I don't want a big fancy wedding or anything like that, I just want us to be married"

"Ok" Meredith whispered "Ok, we'll get married"

"Ok" Mark smiled.

"On the land" she said quietly "Just our friends and family, and Lexie and April can plan it for us, they're better at that kind of stuff than either of us"

"We'll spend a weekend at a fancy hotel, just you and me, instead of a honeymoon because I know you could never leave Chris for that long"

"In the next 3 months" she smiled "Because I don't want to wait until the baby's born, and I don't want to be so fat I waddle down the aisle" she laughed.

"I'm gonna buy you an engagement ring, and you're gonna wear it..."

"As long as you promise to wear your wedding ring, so all the nurses and girls at Joe's know you're really mine" Meredith said with a slight grin.

"Deal" Mark smirked "Now, can I lock that door and have my way with you?"

"I thought you'd never ask" she murmured as she reached up to kiss him.

~x~

"Hey" Meredith smiled as she walked up to her friends in the cafeteria, putting her tray on the table as she sat down, all of them replying with some form of a greeting "So uh, I have news"

"Yeah?" Cristina questioned.

"Well, Lexie, April, how would you guys feels about, planning a wedding" Meredith said with a small smile.

"A weddi...oh my god" Lexie stuttered "You mean you and...really?"

"Yes, really" Meredith said with a slight laugh "I know we said we probably weren't going to get married but, well things change, we're thinking we're gonna do it out on the land at the back of the house, just all you guys, the Shepherds, Addie and Sam, Richard and Adele, nothing too fancy"

"Mer this is great, congratulations" April smiled, giving her a tight hug "Can we dress Chris up in a suit? Please? He'll look adorable..."

"Sure" Meredith chuckled lightly "So, Cris, Alex? Is this, ok?"

"I'm happy for you Mer" Alex said, standing to lean over the table to kiss her cheek "Really, I am"

"Thank you" Meredith smiled.

"Are you gonna make me wear a stupid dress?" Cristina asked.

"It's going to be pink with lots of frills and you'll have a bow in your hair" Meredith said seriously.

"Liar" Cristina smirked.

"You can wear scrubs if it'll get you to stand up there with me" Meredith laughed.

"Well then, I guess I'll see you there" Cristina said with a small smile before giving Meredith a hug "Congratulations Mer"

"Thank you" Meredith smiled "He makes me happy"

"Well duh" Cristina snorted, Meredith laughed and they all got back to eating their lunch.

~x~

"I'm home" Meredith called out as she walked into the house that evening, she kicked off her shoes, put her coat on the hook and ran up the stairs, finding Mark and Chris in the bathroom, Chris in the bathtub, laughing as Mark splashed water at him "There you are" she smiled.

"Hi Mommy" Chris beamed "Did you save anyone's brain today?"

"Yeah honey, I did" she said with a soft laugh, she walked closer and kissed his forehead gently before pulling up the chair they kept in the bathroom "How was daycare today? Did you do anything fun?"

"Me and Michael had a competition to see who could build the tallest tower, I won! But then it fell down"

"Oh no" Meredith laughed "Well did you build it back up again?"

"Uh-huh" he smiled "But I missed you Mommy, and Daddy, I wish we could stay home more"

"We'll get a few days off soon buddy" Mark smiled "Come on, let's get you all washed up and ready for bed, I've got a real special story for you tonight"

"Cool" Chris grinned, he finished his bath and Mark took him to change into his pyjamas, Meredith brought him some warm milk and they all cuddled up on his bed.

"Ok buddy, now this isn't so much as a story, cuz it's gonna happen" Mark smiled "Chris me and your Mom, we're going to get married, in a few months time we're going to have a wedding right here at the house"

"You are?!"

"We are" Meredith smiled "It's going to be the 3 of us, Sloane, all of your Aunts and Uncles, Grandma Carolyn and Grandpa Thatcher, is that ok?"

"Yeah" Chris grinned "I never been to a wedding before"

"Well you went to Aunty Addison and Uncle Sam's wedding, but you weren't even 2 years old bud" Mark smiled "You're gonna remember this though, you're gonna be the best man"

"Well what does the best man do?" Chris questioned thoughtfully.

"You're gonna stand with me at the front waiting for Mommy, and if you want to you can make a speech to everyone, but only if you want to bud"

"I really want to do that Daddy" Chris beamed "But I might need some help"

"Uncle Alex would love to help you honey" Meredith smiled.

"Ok" Chris yawned "I'm happy you're getting married Mommy" he whispered as he cuddled her.

"Me too Chris" she whispered back "Now come on, time to get some sleep"

"Mmhmm" he nodded, he snuggled into his bed and his parents kissed his forehead, leaving him alone to sleep.

~x~

"Hey kid" Mark smiled as Sloane walked into the kitchen later that night "You staying here tonight?"

"My stupid room mate has her asshole boyfriend over again, Dad why can't you just pay for me to have my own apartment?" she whined.

"I'm sorry, did I just walk into my kitchen 3 years ago?" Meredith smirked.

"Room mate troubles" Mark chuckled lightly "Sloane you'll be out of there soon enough, once you've graduated you'll be able to get a well paid job and you won't need a room mate"

"I guess" Sloane sighed.

"How about, we order in a pizza and sit and get fat on the sofa?" Meredith asked as she wrapped her arm around Sloane.

"Sounds like a plan to me" Sloane smirked "What's got you two all happy anyway"

"Well, how would you feel about going to a wedding in a couple of months?" Mark asked.

"No way" Sloane laughed "You guys are getting married?"

"Yeah" Meredith smiled "And we really want you to be there"

"Of course I'll be there" Sloane smiled "So, why now? Did you knock her up or something" she smirked, Meredith and Mark both gave each other a look "Holy crap you did knock her up"

"Ok he did but nobody knows and you can't tell anyone yet" Meredith said quickly "Please, we wanna wait until I've had a scan and everything's ok, please Sloane"

"I won't say anything but, wow guys, this is, great, this is great" Sloane smiled softly "I'm happy for you, you'll make a cute baby, and Chris will love being a big brother"

"I hope so" Meredith sighed.

"He will babe" Mark smiled "You two go and get comfy on the sofa, I'll order the pizza"

"Pepperoni and cheese with extra pepperoni" Sloane smiled.

"I know" he smirked "You two order the same every single time"

"It's our favourite" Meredith laughed, she kissed his cheek and headed off into the living room with Sloane, Mark smiled at the sound of his daughter and future wife laughing together.

_Chapter 12 to follow….._


End file.
